What do you want to do with your life? 

Every day I ask myself this question. Every day I have a different answer. 

Since going to college, I have been all over the place. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, which was shocking to me. College has been a clusterfuck. Clothes strewn on the floor trying to pick an outfit for the day, dishes dirty from the lazy meal prepping that I have struggled to do, running to get out the door for school, overthinking every human interaction I have, wanting to be social but struggling to talk. It’s weird being quiet when the noises are so loud. 

Until I turned 21, I had never been to a bar. I didn’t go out to eat and I barely left my room. My life consisted of school, anxiety, and more anxiety. I suppose that’s what happens when you place an ADHD kid in a world without structure. Despite all of this, I continued chasing a degree because that’s what society tells us to do. Because even when life feels chaotic and directionless, doing something feels better than nothing.

I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life. But I do know I want it to be mine—messy, real, and honest. And maybe that’s a start.

Part of this is learning to accept who I am - the good and the bad. And the truth of it all is that who I am is always going to be changing. Accepting that every day is a new day might sound cliche, but the thing is when you are a young adult every day is truly a new day.